A week of unpaid off: what to do? Do something which I haven't had the time to do when work. For instance, work-out (I've missed many sessions!), banking, updating my wardrobe (can't blame me, the weather drops!), meeting friends (we'd do lunch/dinner), and my family too.

 

It always strikes me how fortunate for women to be employed: unwanted phone calls: "sorry, am in a meeting right now."; uninteresting dates: "sorry my schedule is a bit tight this week...". As much as I wanted to be in love, I prefer to have a job, a career in which I can be neck to neck with the male genders.

 

It's always the sense of being in power and authority over the other parties that drives me forward. Onward and upward.

 

I love my job. I love my job!

 

 

People talk. I know; particulary when you have achieved something which others cannot. This I cannot control.

 

However much patience allowed, I couldn't help but wonder: have they, or would they, ever considered the effort and time I have put into the project, while they were doing nothing at all?

 

God gives us a mouth to praise the Lord; not the devil. 

 

 

I use to have dreams, particularly when stressed. Most annoying of all, nightmares! Sometimes I was so scared, and the dream so vivd, that I woke up. Thanking God that it was just a dream...!

 

Recently, I had dreams before dawn. I woke up, and could remember them clearly. For instance, this morning, I dreamed I was being driven in a car, facing a slope ahead. The driver, whom I couldn't recall the face or name, said next to me it was a famous slope, and we were about to fall. I expected the "free-fall" feeling of the heart. We fell, but it wasn't so bad (I was unhurt).

 

Then (part 2) I was injured at the feet, bleeding. There was blood. I felt the pain, and woke up. It was 05:58 am.

 

I looked up in an online Dream Dictionary. Putting the pieces together, I am afraid I am in a crisis, which I need to resolve. The bleeding could also mean misunderstanding and conflicts. Terrbile!

 

 

 

 

本日是五十年來首次日之全蝕. 港澳地區只看到日偏食. 雖看不到全相, 但不少人也能目睹, 難得!

 

古語有云: "天缺一塊有女媧"  心缺一塊有誰補?

 

 

沒嫁的女孩, 沒家. 心缺的位置又隱隱作痛... '

 

 

 

 

"What is your career goal, if you decided to give an end to your current job?" the interviewer asked me with a frown between her eyes.

"I would, gratefully, be a mother." I almost spat it out.

 

It is a huge shame that I feel deeply frustrated over these few years. After a day's work, I would be so damn tired that I could not think what I should do. I could only sit in front of the PC, feet numb and mind exhausted. All my hard work have been reduced to nearly nothing; or am I the one who's being deduced to ground zero...?! Sometimes, I'm so upset that I really wanted to cry. Even a small part in a movie can bring me to tears... How am I going to get through this?

 

Perhaps it's time I move on, onto a next level.

 

 

"事業不成, 婚姻必敗" 這是家母教訓.

 

長大後, 發現人家母親對自己女兒說: "二十出頭, 好準備嫁人." 或 "女兒家, 別太勞心事業, 找個好男人至上!"

 

結果, 人家物色終身事業時, 本人醉心學習, 工作; 時間一過, 就好像牛奶過了期, 酸了, 變了質, 遭倒掉的命運.

 

可憐!

 

"How can you guarantee it...?" 面對婚姻, 我會這樣的問...

社會就是這樣, 一大埋norms: 唔結婚, 就好似"誤入歧途"般; 肯結婚, 就"改邪歸正"咁...

 

不突止, 肯結婚唔肯擺酒, 給人冠以 "對社會無交代", "對家庭不負責" 等等罪名. 萬劫不復! 永不超生!

 

其實, 自我懂事開始, 我已發覺各式各樣的婚嫁禮儀煩不可耐(煩到我都不願多述!). 說公平點, 就是我沒有如此能耐! 更坦白點, 能夠找到結婚對象已是天大恩賜, 奢華的婚禮我一點也沒有期望.

 

結婚, 擺酒就代表婚姻美滿, 對社會有交代...? How can you guarantee it?

 

 

" 等, 寂寞到夜深... "

 

有人話我變態, 總愛叫某人等.

 

對呀! WHY NOT?! 試想想: 閣下的餘生將待在家中, 每晚等他歸; 孩子們問妳等什麼, 妳只好說: "他"

 

所以, 現在可以叫他等的時候, 好好讓他等. 要不然, 砰心不特止, 還落得無人可憐的下場!

 

 

睇 "珠肝寶氣" 除了tacky地方唔講, 睇黎姿, 陳豪一對, 有點心酸...!

 

明明相愛, 何以因自私, 自尊, 自我, 而放棄愛人? 更甚的, 就是反目成仇. 愛的反面非恨, 孰無情也! (恨他, 表示還愛他; 何苦...?!)

 

相識 --- 緣份;

相愛 --- 前生收來的福

相守 ---  自身的努力

 

"閉起雙眼你最掛念誰, 張開眼睛身邊竟是誰" 請勿把愛你且你愛的人溜走...!

 

7 度早上, 爬起來, 迎接緊湊的一天.

友人笑我: "唔凍你都唔過海~" 此話應put in another way "我唔過海佢都唔凍~"

 

又話經濟唔好, 周圍鬼咁人多! 企係間鋪門口, 望到人多到缺氧, 即走!  真係頭都暈!!

 

 The end of the day wrapped up nicely: had a pleasant dinner with my friends, nice food, in a crowded restaurant. Back home safely~

 

是次有新發現:

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men, for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married"

 

 - Katharine Hepburn

 

"A woman's fate should be in her own hands, not mouths of the foul."

 

My mind was filled with questions and contradictions these days...  One part of mine is struggling for launching a new self, while the other is calling me for reaching to my hidden old goal..!

 

 

原諒我是天蠍座: obsessive, compulsive, irrational, emotional, passive-aggressive...

At  the same time, I'm also an 'Eight': Authority, the will to success and power are all driving me~

Money  management is another strong side of me too (but no idea am always a "月光族" ?!)

 

記著: 天蠍座有仇必報; 同樣, 有恩必報！　Scorpions sting~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"灑盡每樽香水, 又大一歲"!

 

 

 

 

 

CEO Exchange is a good program. For instance, one episode featured 2 CEOs, both inherit from parents’ family business. Advice from them: once you took up the business, believe in yourself, believe in what you’re doing. You do it, ‘coz you want it. Follow your heart! (I love this!)

 

Another advice: stay connected with the fast and ever-changing world. Use talented people; use their talents to help you with your business. This means: a talented crew is crucial!

 

I remembered my dad once said, “It is never easy to set up a business, neither easy to maintain it. But it’s easy when you know it’s not easy.” When you know where the problems lie/may lie, you’ll find out a way to tackle them. When there’s a problem, there’s a solution. Similar to an article I once read, “A life with problems is a life with hope”. The existence of problems proves your existence. When problems exist no more, life no more. Somehow I couldn’t understand. A life with problems is a life?! What does that mean?

Thanks Dad, for the advice you gave me, though somehow it came late! I wondered, if you could instill those advices to me earlier, before I set my feet on the “wrong” track, what would the present me be, where would I have been standing as compared to the real present me?? Nonetheless, I’ve gone through more than I/you might have expected. And,… I got to love you more!!

 

To my respected father+mother role’s dad, Happy Mother’s Day!!